Am I alone when I see "them" in the office on their first day of work, and I am immediately annoyed.
Am I alone when I know that "they" will reinforce almost every stereotype my hardworking professional race have tried to do away with.
Am I alone when I say I immediately text my close circle of professional friends to commiserate about what is about to happen again at work.
Am I alone when I say it is a swift easy countdown to the day the bullshit will start and I am cringing at my desk because I knew it was coming anyway.
Am I alone when I say that early in my career I shared some of "their" characteristics and was one of "them" in a sense but have tried to learn from my mistakes as I've burned professional bridges.
Am I alone when I yearn to pull "them" aside and put "them" down with the drama that is inevitable for us because the CORPORATE SET OF RULES are never tangible but definitely do exist and will impact our employment status and psyche.
Am I alone when I tell you that in the middle of my career I became a mentor to "them" and attempted to teach "them" by sharing my corporate experience and the corporate pitfalls we always fall into, to only have "them" turn against me.
Am I alone when I say I tried exposing the corporate culture they've willingly signed up for but don't know exist just to be told I am not down and a freakin sellout.
Am I wrong to defend myself and calmly state, "you don't play for the Yankees in a NY Knick uniform idiots!" and then secretly wait for their crash and burn scenario to unfold.
Am I alone when "they" decided that I am not down with "them" and decide to shun and diss me, of course never realizing that I have already "shun and dissed" them.
Am I alone as I check off the mental list of infractions that "they" commit because they have never learned corporate professionalism.
Am I alone when I do extend the olive branch, have the out-of-the-office conversation with "them" alerting them to the pitfalls to only have them ignore me and cause the ruckus that I knew was coming anyway.
Am I alone when "they" stop coming to the office and didn't give 2-weeks notice because "we don't get fired...we quit"!
Am I alone in this knowledge?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
"Extended" Probation
Wow, in April of this year, my "new" supervisor of four business days has put me on probation.
For those of you unfamiliar with this process, let me explain as I have come to see it...
Probation is where your job performance is monitored under a slanted pre-judged microscope or through a dirty colored prism for a designated number of weeks/months until the employee makes an employment error which legally allows a company to terminate the employee without fear of legal repercussions.
During the probationary period, any and all work related questions asked by the employee will be viewed as "dumb, uninformed, unqualified, or just stupid" questions and grounds for termination.
and
During this time, any and all actions pertaining to the day-to-day job related business will be viewed as "dumb, uninformed, unqualified, or just stupid", therefore grounds for termination
and
During this time, group lunch hours and breaks, one-on-one and group discussions where laughter is seen or heard confirms the "conspiracy to undermine your supervisor" and of course grounds for termination
and
During this time, the use of vacations, personal days, summer Friday's and/or extended lunches directly implies the "hunt" for new employment and therefore...grounds for termination.
Do I sound a bit paranoid, maybe. I am the only person to feel this way, maybe not.
You see, the judge and jury of my "current state of probation", has admitted that when she originally put me on probation, she initially judged me based on the wrong set of roles and responsibilities; those of a senior level associate in the same department. (ah-ha! so I am not screwing up my job and I am not on probation, niiiiiice) Now, you would think that an apology would ensue, the small matter of probation would be swept quietly under the employer's rug, no harm-no foul and I would return to my job with the calming mindset of not being under the stress of losing my job at any minute(ummm no!)
My supervisor learned of her error only when she presented the documents to human resources. HR thought it only right to inform my little supervisor of my correct title, job description, role and responsibilities. Now, you would think my "new" supervisor would take a step back and say...wow, what an egregious mistake I've made against this person, I hope this doesn't get around the office that I put a loyal, dedicated, hard-working associate on probation without cause. (ummmmm, nope)
To not be made a fool of, my supervisor decided to "extended" the probation that really wasn't. (incredible huh?)
This little bit of accurate professional information did not yield that action, NO PROBATION. I was told that, although she had my job description, title, role and responsibilities wrong, she would "extended" my probation because of other things. (huh?)
For those of you unfamiliar with this process, let me explain as I have come to see it...
Probation is where your job performance is monitored under a slanted pre-judged microscope or through a dirty colored prism for a designated number of weeks/months until the employee makes an employment error which legally allows a company to terminate the employee without fear of legal repercussions.
During the probationary period, any and all work related questions asked by the employee will be viewed as "dumb, uninformed, unqualified, or just stupid" questions and grounds for termination.
and
During this time, any and all actions pertaining to the day-to-day job related business will be viewed as "dumb, uninformed, unqualified, or just stupid", therefore grounds for termination
and
During this time, group lunch hours and breaks, one-on-one and group discussions where laughter is seen or heard confirms the "conspiracy to undermine your supervisor" and of course grounds for termination
and
During this time, the use of vacations, personal days, summer Friday's and/or extended lunches directly implies the "hunt" for new employment and therefore...grounds for termination.
Do I sound a bit paranoid, maybe. I am the only person to feel this way, maybe not.
You see, the judge and jury of my "current state of probation", has admitted that when she originally put me on probation, she initially judged me based on the wrong set of roles and responsibilities; those of a senior level associate in the same department. (ah-ha! so I am not screwing up my job and I am not on probation, niiiiiice) Now, you would think that an apology would ensue, the small matter of probation would be swept quietly under the employer's rug, no harm-no foul and I would return to my job with the calming mindset of not being under the stress of losing my job at any minute(ummm no!)
My supervisor learned of her error only when she presented the documents to human resources. HR thought it only right to inform my little supervisor of my correct title, job description, role and responsibilities. Now, you would think my "new" supervisor would take a step back and say...wow, what an egregious mistake I've made against this person, I hope this doesn't get around the office that I put a loyal, dedicated, hard-working associate on probation without cause. (ummmmm, nope)
To not be made a fool of, my supervisor decided to "extended" the probation that really wasn't. (incredible huh?)
This little bit of accurate professional information did not yield that action, NO PROBATION. I was told that, although she had my job description, title, role and responsibilities wrong, she would "extended" my probation because of other things. (huh?)
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